Statements on Life
30 May, 2003

Why is it that human nature allows us not to be what we want to be. We have to be what we think everyone else wants us to be. We have to gain approval of everyone around us.
Why can we not say, "you don't like me, f*ck you. That's your deal. You don't have to like me." But instead we say, "oh you don't like me. I can't have that let me become who you want me to be." Why is it that we are forced to stay children? We spend the first 20 some-odd years of our life trying to be grown up when we get there we want to be a kid again. That's the meaning of life; as a human you're never going to be truly happy since man was exiled from the Garden of Eden we have been cursed to be discontent with something. The real meaning of life is simply you spend so much on getting what you want that when you get it you realize how much happier you were your quest to get there was pyrrhic be content just being who you are. What you are. Don't ask questions about yourself. Be yourself. In the Bible it says you are not to question God. By questioning yourself and others you are questioning God. By asking why did this happen to me, am I this when I should be that, should I do this because of that, if this happens should I do something about it. The only thing you should do is what you feel is right, not what you think is right; what you feel.

Your brain and heart are in constant battle for control it's the never-ending saga of God verses the Devil. God controls the heart; where you know what you should do. The Devil controls the mind; where you think you know what you should do. Only the penitent man yields full control to his heart and God. The saga only continues to become more complex when after realizing this is true. The man finds himself in a paradox. If this is true why can't I ask. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is the answer to that question:
 

Ecclesiastes 1:18:
 He who increases knowledge increases sorrow.
 

That tells me God wanted us to live and be happy. When you begin to want to know more, when you begin to wonder why things happen, why life is the way it is or why people act the way they do or even do the things they do. you are beginning a quest for knowledge in that quest you have begun a life of pain and suffering. God doesn't want us to ask questions he wants us to be merry and exist. life itself is a paradox perhaps it is the scientist in me that wants to know, that hungers for knowledge. In that case I was damned from the start. Am I to draw from that, that I should just take it with stride and keep going. Am I to bring my quest to an end. or Am I allowed to ask questions Perhaps my questions have been in vain perhaps I am damned while on this earth we call Earth perhaps I am one of the lucky few graced with the gift of knowledge only to pay such a price as it makes life pyrrhic.
 

That explains autism. Many autistic people have such uncanny thinking abilities yet can't function in society at large because of their handicap. Take into account the case of Raymond Babbit. A man many of us would not know by his formal name, I myself am ashamed to admit I had to look up his family name, which tells you I am no expert on his case. However, I do know enough to say that had it not been for certain actors Raymond Babbit's story would have never been as popular nor would his name even touch your ear. Raymond Babbit was portrayed by Dustin Hoffman in a movie with Tom Cruise simply titled after the nickname of Raymond Babbit, Rainman. Raymond Babbit is a mathematical genius. He has the supernatural ability of processing mathematical equations small as well as large in mere seconds all in his head. However Raymond Babbit was never really allowed to take part in society because of his handicap. His autism made him the target of ridicule and disbelief. Raymond Babbit is a genius. He has the gift of superb knowledge. He also is not a part of society. He can exist. His life will never be complete. Then again maybe he is happy. Maybe his handicap makes is out weighed by his knowledge. Maybe he is happy. I truly hope so.

I wish I could calm my mind for only a moment. A pure calm. One that exists with out the use of recreational drugs or sedatives. a calm that can only exist with the presence a honestly pure relationship with God. If these things are not the meaning of life. What is? There again we place ourselves in a paradox. Life cannot exist with out asking questions. You might say it can. but think of this. Let us pose that statement again, only this time we'll continue the other side of the coin and watch what happens. Life cannot exist with out asking questions. Or can it? See at that point we prove our point and disprove our question. Life cannot exist without questions. I for one am not one to roll over and take it. I was once that way. I grew out of that. In the process of growing out of that stage in my life, I had a life altering experience. When I awoke. Life was different. The world I knew looked Different. Most would think that due to the timing of this unfortunate accident it would have stunted my growth. It did not. It magnified it. I realized that. Due to the short amount of time I am going to be on this planet. I will do something with myself I will do what I want to do. I will do something great. I will be great and nothing will get in my way.

God placed the seed of inquisitiveness in my body and soul. That is my purpose. I am supposed to do what God wants me to do. It means my life is not going to be easy getting there. However, in the end I'll have done what God asked me to do make a difference. As I make these statements and ponder their truth i find they are true by the actions of those around me.
 

Good-night world. May you be fair to all that blossom from you.

------------------
View the [censured] Conversation Log that inspired this.

© Druid628 - 2003